fast & prayer retreat

The theme for this year is “Rest in God”. Thanks to the organizing committee, we did have a lot of rest, both spiritually and physically! This is by far the most enjoyable fast and prayer retreat I’ve ever joined since 2007!

We had 2 speakers, one was Pak Karel from Indonesia; another one was God Himself.

I’ve never heard from God so much before, and the amount God speaks can definitely beat the time Pak Karel spoke, and of course, God speaks through Pak Karel too

I enjoyed the every solitude moment spent with my Heavenly Father. I loved the way He speaks: straight to the point, heart piercing, comforting and encouraging. I cried, I laughed, I went into deep thought, I prayed… by the bed, in the bed; by the sea, in the sea. Those were moments where the silence is so loud, and the voice of the Father is so strong.

God brought several issues to light. One of it is the pursuit of holiness. God did a ground breaking work in my life last October after a series of serious prayers and ministry of Words. I finally breathe the free air of living a life that follows the Lord closely with nothing hold me behind, again. But somehow, along the process, I stumbled, and I fell. This discouraged me a lot, and I began to sense that the cause was because I turn my eyes toward myself rather than toward God.

God concerned about this. His conversation to me revolved around this matter.

He brought me to the seaside. While I sat by the sea, enjoying the breeze and feeling the sand with my feet. God asked: “Son, do you see the sky? the sea, and everything before your eyes?”

“Yes, Dad. I see them, they are beautiful!”

“I created them.” God said.

There was silence for a few seconds. I look at the marvelous sight in front of me, everything is perfectly and wonderfully made.

As the waves come, God continued “Son, if I am the creator of Heavens and Earth, do you think it is hard for me to help you in overcoming your failures?”

Now I know why God wanted to put that up. “…No, Dad. Definitely not…” My problem appear extremely small in front of the Almighty God.

God continued: “Son, what does my Word say about you?” The Spirit of the Lord reminded me clearly on Gal2:19-21: “^19bI have been put to death with Christ on his cross, ²⁰so that it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. This life that I live now, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave his life for me. ²¹I refuse to reject the grace of God. But if a person is put right with God through the Law, it means that Christ died for nothing!”

“Son, you are no longer the old you. The old you had been crucified with my Son Jesus Christ. Now wake up, and live out the new you, the life I gave you through the resurrection of my son.” God affirmed me.

“Thanks Dad, I needed that.”

Looking at the feet in front of me, I had a thought: I dug a hole at the beach, a hole big enough to bury my feet, and then in my heart I prayed. “Dad, these feet that used to walk in the sinful ways, ways that go against your will, are now buried and died. Thank you for these new feet: the new feet that I have now can walk on the path of righteousness, path that pleases You. Thank you, for what you have done on that cross for me!”

I moved my feet up after I said that prayer. As the feet emerge and sands falling off from my feet, I felt resurrection within my heart! The old has gone, the new has come. It is always comforting and strength-giving to embrace the truth that I am now having a resurrected life, a life that can defeat evil desires and walk on the ways of the Lord.

It’s such a great way to start the year embracing this truth! I look forward for more resurrecting works my Father have for me to experience.

The speaker: Pak Karrel and Ibu Emma

Privileged to host the Holy Communion service for the fast & prayer retreat

Executive Retreat 2009

God is AWESOME! That’s all I can say!

The last weekends (25-27 September) had been a life-changing moments. More than one time, my spirit burst out joy and wonders as I hear people sharing the supernatural and life-changing stories God has done.

A former death-row inmate turned into a new-born pastor

A former drunkard, violent husband and dad, turned into a man who could shed tears of repentance on stage when he recap how bad he treated his children and wife

A former proud and dangerous military man who led a military havoc in Philippine year 2003 called “Oakwood Mutiny” turned into a humble servant of God

A hateful man whom brother is killed, turned into someone who is willing to forgive, and share the love of Jesus with that very man who killed his own brother.

A man who used to own almost everything a man wants in the world, yet lost it all over night, humbled, and decided to live right for God, surrendered to Jesus, and God lifted him up again.

Jesus changes lives! You may think that money, position, military power or any other human efforts can change lives, like the men I mentioned above, yet they failed. Now they understood: We can only live a new life in Jesus, and no where else. That’s why they are bold to stand up for Jesus, because they witnessed what Jesus did to them, and changed them

I thank God for every moments spent in Executive Retreat. I enjoyed working with influencing people who desire to know God, and please God and God alone in their lives. My heart is thankful as I see God is working in mighty and powerful ways!

Most of all, I am excited of journeying with a God whom no one could stop Him from doing great and mighty works wherever He wants, and that I am part of this wonderful plan.

Ambassador Elizabeth P. Buensuceso is the Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of Philippines to Scandavania (Norway, German and Iceland). Her conviction to be an ambassador for Christ touched me deeply. To me, she is more like a missionary than an ambassador. She always say that her job is to bring Gospel to everyone she come in touch with, and her "other job" is to be a diplomat. He life impacted me to see our primary calling as Ambassador of Christ, and secondly, our identity on earth.

Rev. & Mrs. Peter Tan-chi, the founder of Christ Commission Fellowship in Manila. Their humility and vital relationship with God tell me that the greatest asset a person can have is that genuine love towards God and towards people around them. His simplicity in delivering the messages of God also leave long-lasting impact in my mind.

Formerly a military man, notable professor in military school of Philippine, a would-be general of Philippine, laid down everything and follow where God wants him to be- -start all over, and be a full time missionary with Philippine Campus Crusade for Christ.

Geri/Geraldo Gembala. Don't undemine this physically small guy. He was former Philippine military man, fought 8 years of endless Philippine sounthern border war, and was the leader who led a group of 321 armed soldiers who called themselves "Bagong Katipuneros", held their country "hostage" for 24 hours on July 27, 2003, in an event commonly called "Oakwood Mutiny". He met Jesus in prison, and his life is transformed. My aquaintance with him was wonderful, and you can 'smell' the humility of Christ in him! He is now serving with PCCC Leader's Movement, as a staff ministering mainly to the military of Philippine, and worldwide.

These were only some of the people whom life had been transformed by Jesus Christ. There are more people who joined the Executive Retreat have met Jesus Christ in special ways too! Their lives are beautiful, and I was ministered by God deeply as I see their lives.

I too, want to live such a life that is worthy of God’s grace- – His transforming, freely-given and eternal grace.

God changed my heart for Malaysia- – Sharing of my experience in NECF National Prayer Rally

I’m sharing this with a prayer, that whoever reads this will also share the burden I have for my nation. Let the Holy Spirit works in your heart.

The Excitement of the Prayer Rally

It was a phenomenal, spirit-thrilling prayer rally! I have not been joining NECF Prayer Rally for years. Somehow this year, I have such an eagerness to join. I believe it was God who urged me to join other Christian in praying for my nation. God has put in me greater knowledge about my nation in the past 3 years, and I think it has to do with what He wants me to do. I don’t want to miss out any of His plans for this nation. I believe this prayer rally will give me a clearer picture.

Condition of My Heart

I was a little bit late for the National Prayer Rally (30 Aug, 7pm, FGA KL). The main hall had been filled up by people and part of the congregation need to go to another hall to join by watching the live video from the main hall. I was excited about this prayer rally, as I told God: “God, I need a change within me.” Frankly speaking, I do not see the urge to pray for my nation like there’s no tomorrow. I’m still putting on an indifferent attitude towards the eternal destiny of my nation. My heart for this nation had long lost, and my passion ceased.

“God, tonight, please change my heart tonight!” I prayed, with anticipation.

The Opening Speech

God is always wonderful. And let me affirm this with you: When you ask God to change your heart, you will see immediate answer of prayer! God prepared my heart with the welcome speech by Rev. Eu Hong Seng, President of NECF. He talked on the lessons of 2 the mountains in the Old Testament time: Mountain Camel – Where Elijah prayed there by putting his head between his knees, an act of total dependence of God. He said “ Elijah’s pose demonstrated the urgency and restlessness making that prayer – Asking God to answer by fire!” He stated: “Let us continue to ask God, rain down fire of revival and burn this nation! A humble cry, to admit that only God can do such a work! Pray urgently, and restlessly!”

Mountain Moriah- A mountain where Abraham was tested to sacrifice his only son Isaac. He said “Nothing significance is ever achieve without sacrifice. Revival happens when God’s people willing to give what is best to God!” My heart cried when I see myself make no sacrifice for my nation, not even prayer time. “God gives us to give when we have the heart to give!” He closed his speech. I then, made a prayer to God: “Father, yes, you give us that heart and I want that heart, a heart for my nation”

“Has Malaysia Born in your heart?” – Ps. Philip Mantofa

“Has Malaysia born in your heart?” He asked this question right after he went on stage. “I’m not asking whether you are born in Malaysia, I’m not asking your nationality, what passport you hold in your hands. I’m asking whether you have the heart for this nation! If you do not have, ask God for it!” This statement blew me away. Yes, I am a Malaysian, but do I have my nation in my heart? I wept over the condition in my heart.

“God’s calling for me to come to Malaysia this time is to wake up the Holy Giant in Malaysia” He said. Long in sleep? I can see myself as someone like that. He further prepared us by saying: “Sermons are always meant to entertain, but messages are always meant to change. Listen to what God has to tell you tonight!” Yes, God had a personal message to all of us there, and here it is: He spoke from Numbers 13:31-14:9. An incident I always identify myself with. An event where differentiates people with real faith and people with temporal faith. There were great fear and great faith existing at the same time, there were 10 people saying negative things about the promised land of God, yet there were significant 2 persons, trusting in the promise of God, not knowing how, insisting that God will grant them the land according to His promises.

Grasshopper vs. Giants Mentality

For the Israelites, some see themselves as grasshoppers as compared to the Canaanites. “How do you see yourself, people of God in Malaysia? Grasshopper? Or a Giant?” Frankly speaking, in terms of size, and the guts to stand up for righteousness, or standing against the ungodliness of what happen in our society nowadays, I cannot deny that we see ourselves as grasshoppers at times. “God wants us to see us as Giants, not grasshoppers! Distorted eyesight! We’ve got saved from sin, yet we often walk blindly in our path of salvation!” What a statement! Sharp and clear!

Prayers of Faith

“When you really know God’s desire and message, how would you respond?” He asked us. “Are you keep on praying yet do nothing? Do something before God let you see that He grant you what He promised! God says: “As you respond to me by faith, I’ll be responsible to do what I promised to do!” He said. “If prayer doesn’t make you know clearer of what you need to do, don’t pray as if you care!” True and genuine prayer leads to action. You cannot pray for a person’s salvation without asking God to use you as an instrument of God’s love to that person’s life, and make God known to that person. You cannot pray for the salvation of a nation without bringing positive impact or making a difference to the nation.

Suddenly, I get it. I get what God heart is. He whispered: “ Malaysian, you have prayed too much, and you have been complacent with your current situation now. Now go out, and do something!”

Call to Action

He then called us to the following actions:

1. Pray for Muslims – Make yourself a friend to them and love them, even though love brings much hurt! The sin of the church today is creating more ‘commandments’ to stop evangelism from happening to our nation. Although you are restricted by the law to share Gospel to them, but you are not restricted to ‘live out’ the Gospel to them!

2. Grow Christian Influence – Bring more non-Malays to Christ, equip them and grow them (businessmen, politicians). Win the leaders, influence others to a point where the government see that people are free to decide what they want to believe (law enforcement) – The Lord has the ultimate authority to decide the law, not government, not law makers!

3. Encourage and support each others! Do not compete among yourselves, church! (English churches, Chinese churches, Tamil churches, Orang Asli churchs) Unite as one, share resources! Stop criticizing others! Prepare workers for revival: Win more non-Malays!

4. Stop singing lullabies to your church or nation! Wake up! Sing song of praise! Sing songs of victory! Do not be complacent!

Miraculous Moment of God’s Conviction in the Spirit

He ended his message with a very emotional illustration of how much he is convicted for our nation! It was a miraculous moment where I myself sensed strongly how much God desires us, His people in Malaysia, to move out from our comfort zone, and do what God desires, with full of faith and brokenness inside. It was a moment where I deeply sensed the grief of seeing my own people, people of Malaysia, going to the dreadful hell without salvation. The horror of hopelessness in their soul made me want to break myself in deep mourning for forgiveness over my nation.

Like Joshua and Caleb in the incident, they tore their clothes when they see the others do not believe that God will grant them the promise land. “How many people in this land are convicted to tear their clothes for their nation? Grief breaks free faith!” That night, the same spirit that filled me the day I accepted Jesus Christ, convicted me to love this land again. The whole congregation, about 1,500 of us, from different races, knelt before God and prayed like there’s no tomorrow! We wept as we repent for our indifferent attitude, we wept for the lost, we wept as we really long to see God work in our nation, and we cannot do it on our own!

The Difference in the condition of my heart

I left the prayer rally with a renewed spirit. A spirit in my heart that urge me to pray and give until something happen in my land. Today, when I say I love Malaysia, it is not very much because I am born in this nation, it is because God had made this nation born in me. Just like my national anthem sings: “Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku” (My nation, where my blood is poured onto). If it cost my life to bring my nation come any closer to God, I am willing to lay it down, for the Glory of God.

I hope this sharing of what I learned in the prayer rally bless you in some ways. Let our love for this land not just stop in prayer, but in our day-to-day life. Ask God how you can make a difference for this nation, and He will show you how!

Congregation Mourned for Revival

Pastor Philip Mantofa from Surabaya, Indonesia

Jesus turns my water into wine!

I’m super glad that I joined Dr. Rev. Stephen Tong’s Bible Expository Meeting tonight, the Bible expository meeting I’ve long missed (due to several reasons). God whispered His words to my spirit through the mouth of His servant. Tonight he talked about the first miracle Jesus performed in his earlier ministry life- – turning water into wine in the wedding of Cana. I never knew this event can have so much hidden spiritual meanings and principles, not before I hear how Rev. Tong led us study on it.

Frankly speaking, there are several issues that trouble me since the end of last year: pursuing holiness in personal life, marriage, my devotion to God over worldly things and… (really personal lar!). I’ve been praying, waiting, and even weeping for these issues, and until a point, recently, I feel so so so disgusted to talk about the above issues. I’ve been trying to ignore the problems in my life, trying to keep on without bothering it, the result is: problem remains as problem, nothing much change, and it started to get stink!

God sort of clearing those rubbish in my spirit away with His words:

“Three days later Mary, the mother of Jesus, was at a wedding feast in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited and were there.

When the wine was all gone, Mary said to Jesus, “They don’t have any more wine.” Jesus replied, Dear woman, my time hasn’t yet come! You must not tell me what to do.” Mary then said to the servants, “Do whatever Jesus tells you to do.”

At the feast there were six stone water jars that were used by the people for washing themselves in the way that their religion said they must. Each jar held about twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus told the servants to fill them to the top with water. Then after the jars had been filled, he said, “Now take some water and give it to the man in charge of the feast.”

The servants did as Jesus told them, and the man in charge drank some of the water that had now turned into wine. He did not know where the wine had come from, but the servants did. He called the bridegroom over and said, “The best wine is always served first. Then after the guests have had plenty, the other wine is served. But you have kept the best until last!”

This was Jesus’ first miracle, and he did it in the village of Cana in Galilee. There Jesus showed his glory, and his disciples put their faith in him.”

Wedding is a happy occasion. The bride may know Jesus as a friend. When he has special occasion like this, he never forget inviting Jesus. Not only Jesus, but also few of His followers and His mother. I always welcome Jesus when I need Him, when I’m lost, but do I welcome Jesus to be with me even in good times, in times I enjoy so much love from others?

I see that Jesus cares for the problems we are facing. The problems may put us to shame (like the bridegroom are experiencing), may cause others criticize us, and may even make us lost our good reputation. We may have told Jesus about this problem, and been expecting Him to change and turn things around. Like Mary, we tell Jesus the problem we face. Yet Jesus answered: “my time hasn’t yet come! You must not tell me what to do.” Who are we that we order the God who created the universe and set the time of this cosmic to act IMMEDIATELY! God never slow to act- – He acts in time, in His perfect time! I’ve tell God my problem, and must not hurry Him, but instead, wait readily for His time.

“At the feast there were six stone water jars that were used by the people for washing themselves in the way that their religion said they must.” Those water in the water jars are to be turned into wine. Those water was used for cleaning off the dirts and dusts from the hands and feet of the guests. Imagine having so many guests (until the wine are out) and everyone of them got their hands and feet wash with those water… no one even dare to smell it, not to say drink it! Yet Jesus turn this dirty water into something good: Wine. Not an ordinary wine, but the best kind of wine! When God’s time is up, he’ll turn whatever that is so filthy in us into something good, not only good, but more than good! I can’t help rejoicing when I find out that God wants to turn my very problems into something Good! Yes, he wants to do it, according to His perfect time, but first, I myself need to be cleansed first!

I need God’s timing to work in me. To turn the problems in my life into blessings to both my life and lives of people around us! Jesus will take away my shame, and reveal His glory from all these problems in life, so that all may know and believe that He is God! Do you have that same attitude towards your problems now? Wait for God’s timing with faith and perseverance

安然过河

“等到抬普天下主耶和华约柜的祭司把脚站在约旦河水里，约旦河的水，就是从上往下流的水，必然断绝，立起成垒。。。他们到了约旦河，脚一入水（原来约旦河水在收割的日子涨过两岸），那从上往下流的水，便在极远之地、撒拉但旁的亚当城那里停住，立起成垒。。。于是，百姓在耶利哥的对面过去了。”(约书亚记3:13-17)

约旦河是以色列人进应许之地的一个关键：它是障碍，却也是里程碑。纵然他没有如红海般令以色列民陷入那种“前无去路、后有追兵”的绝望中，但神要约书亚吩咐百姓，认真预备自己，并期待看见神在四十年前在他们前辈眼前行的神迹–神是在困境中为他们开路的神！

神行神迹的方式很特别–他大可完全不需要人就可以成就许多的神迹（就好像使约旦河中断，红海被开等），但神往往要我们参与在神迹中间。但关键是：他给我们选择要踏出信心的那一步，还是站立着踌躇不前。

四十年前，摩西在四面受敌中，毅然顺服神，举起了他那原本是拿来赶羊的牧羊仗，红海就被打开了！四十年后，以色列人在祭司的带领下踏出了那一步进入约旦河，河水立刻止住了。

他们知道他们所信的神是谁，他们知道神所应须他们的是什么。

今天，圣灵提醒我要勇敢地把脚踏入那拦阻我进入应许之地的约旦河。

我的应许之地是成为圣洁器皿，满有基督样式，并且在生活中每一个细节都尊崇神。

我的约旦河是生活中那些大大小小，多多少少，零零碎碎的无形巨人、错误思想、坏习惯、隐藏的罪、自我中心等。神说：“我愿意为你开这一条约旦河。过河也许会很漫长，中间你也可能会担心河水突然回袭。但是，你愿意凭信心踏进这条河吗？我是你的神，我答应我会带你进入应许之地。你愿意吗？”

原来，神的能力在我们的软弱上显得完全，信实地塑造我们成为合他心意的人，就是一个神迹！

关键是：你我都愿意踏入这条河，看神如何为你止住河水吗？

我跟天父的谈话

今天参与加影迦南堂信义会的崇拜，
天父紧紧地抓住我的心，对我说了一番话：

诗歌敬拜时
“你爱我吗？”天父问

“我。。。”
对这突如其来的一个问句
把我从诗歌敬拜中抽离了出来
我看了看我的内心，
对照我现在的生命，翻查我近来对天父说过的祷告
我发现，我还不够爱天父
我的生命中还是有太多的自我
有太多的不信，有太多的不愿意

我鼓起勇气对那位完全了解我内心的天父说
“但天父，祢知道我爱祢。但我会软弱，
在我软弱时，求祢帮助我继续爱祢” 

天父安慰地笑了
我知道他明白我的意思

天父似乎还未有了结这谈话的意思
当牧师在证道时 
天父又再问我：“你知道我多爱你吗？”

我深深地吸了一口气。。我又说不出话来
我知道，但我无法形容天父多爱我

原来牧师的信息，就是天父要我知道的答案。。。

耶稣是逾越节那完美的羔羊，除去世人罪孽的那一位
天父爱我到一个地步：他愿意舍弃他自己的儿子，
为要我得到最好的礼物-他的赦免，让我有重来的机会。

耶稣的血-是神与世人立约的表征，是天父不再计较我们过犯的约定
天父爱我到一个地步：他不背弃他与我所立的约定
纵然我是失信的，但神是可信的。

耶稣的身体-是神同在的表现
天父爱我到一个地步：他愿意任何时刻都与我同在
尽所有的管道方法，帮助我了解’有他，我就一无所缺！’的真理

耶稣的爱-使我明白如何爱人
天父爱我到一个地步：要我经历爱所带来的能力
好让我能够去以他的爱爱我身边的人 

耶稣的复活与再来-是我这一生的盼望
天父爱我到一个地步：要我明白他从来没忘记过我
这个世界虽有许多苦难、我这一生也许会经历许多的不公或迫害
但有一天他要擦干我的一切眼泪，给我一个拥抱
并对我说：“孩子，我们终于相见了，进来与我一同坐席”

“孩子，这就是我对你的爱”

我不知道为什么，这一切我都知道
但今天，我心灵中经历神的爱的那种悸动久久无法散去
我想起那两个往以马忤斯走去的门徒，
他们心中明白许多关于耶稣的事
但是他们认不出眼前与他们说话的就是他们终日所谈论的主

直到耶稣让他们明白过来

今天，天父向我的心说话
虽然我之前都听过了，
但今天我亲自明白了。 

天父，帮助我，像祢爱我那样
去爱祢，爱祢要我爱的人

(If you want to know more about God, please visit AiBenFang.com or everystudent.com)